Just a little odd

What good are stuffed animals?

Oh how I love my darling, sometimes socially clueless child.  Twice this weekend he made me laugh but had no idea why.

Friday night he came home after a week of being in Florida with his dad.  As he walked in the door, he didn't hug me, but went straight for the computer, saying "All I could think about all week was - man, I can't wait to get home and play computer."  And I just looked at him and said "Seriously?"  Then he looked at me for a second (no doubt thinking - WHAT?!), then he said "Oh.  And I missed you."  Thanks, man.

Then Saturday morning I was preparing some boxes to ship to Montana, as the region I'm from is being ravaged by wildfires.  It's heartbreaking how much damage has been done.  Anyway, Jake noticed some of his old but practically brand new stuffed animals going in the boxes along with clothes and shoes. He asked me what I was doing, and I said there were people where I'm from who lost their homes in fires, so I was sending them some stuff. He looked at me like I was crazy and said "You can't build houses out of stuffed animals."

Then I said "No, but I think kids who lost all their toys would like one to hold on to."

And then he muttered, "I'd send bricks."

So Proud!!!

SO PROUD of my boy.

For the past few months Jake's 3rd grade class has had timed multiplication tests 2 or 3 times a week.  (Reminder here that Jake is mainstreamed, is in a normal class.)

If you get a perfect score on a particular timed test you get to go to the next one. The time limit is what got him several times. They had to do 1s through 12s. (12s are hard!!! for me, anyway. Ok, fine, 7s and 8s are hard for me too. Jake has been able to do math in his head faster than me for like two years.)

ANYWAY. Jake brought this home today.  He was the first student in his class to pass all the tests. GO JAKE!!!

Don't ever let your child's disabilities or delays or issues convince you that they aren't capable.  I have stayed on Jake all these weeks, asking him about these tests, counting up by each number (4 8 12 16 20, etc), talking to him about how hard math can be for me, and how proud I am of him not just for having a brain that loves math in the first place, but for trying hard to learn new things.

I try to not consider parenting a race or competition, as children all develop differently and we need to be proud of them where they are.  But the fact that Jake was the first in his class to hit this accomplishment just about makes my heart explode.

What's for dinner?

A snapshot of parenting Jake:

Jake, let's do Sonic for dinner.  What do you want?
Nothing.  I'm not hungry.
But you like tater tots.  Do you want some tater tots?  And the chicken is good.
I liked popcorn chicken.  They don't have it any more.
Jake, the chicken strips taste just like the popcorn chicken did.
Yeah, but they're the wrong shape.
But it tastes the same!!!
I don't care.  It's the wrong shape.
Fine.  
*I proceed to order a chicken strips meal with tots for myself.*
*We arrive home.*
*Jake eyes my food.*
Hey, what are you gonna do with those tots?
Here, Jake, you may have them.

aaaaand /scene.

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(am labelling this in the "autism" category because his refusal to eat food that is the "wrong shape" is an example of rigid thinking that can accompany autism.)

The root of the problem

So the other day my mom was keeping Jake for a few hours and had fussed at him for making a mess.  He shot back at her:

"Well if YOU had raised my MOM better, then maybe SHE would have raised ME better.  So it's not my fault that I'm sloppy!"

Sometimes I really wonder what's going on in that kid's head!!!

Short-circuits

A few weeks ago I noticed the status of one of my friends on Facebook - her two-year-old daughter had pitched a fit when mom handed her a milk cup.  The little girl had wanted to get the cup off the counter herself!  Some people commented on the status that yes, aren't two-year-olds randomly stubborn and dramatic and silly sometimes.

Me, I was taken back to Jake's early years, where huge freak-outs would happen over the smallest things.  His big struggle for a while - he was about three - was which way we turned at the end of our street. Most of the time we turned right.  But there was a short-cut to avoid heavy traffic that we sometimes turned left to take.  And hoo, boy, when we turned left?  He would start crying - wailing - saying "We not 'posed to go left!  That wrong way!  We haf go right!"  Jake's dad and I would laugh at the oddness of Jake's distress, while assuring him that it's ok if sometimes we go the other way.  (Hey, at least we didn't get mad -  I think some parents might at that point.)

Now that I think about it, he also used to get really upset when his dad or I parked in the wrong spot in the driveway.  Mom's spot was on the right, dad's spot was on the left.  What was really funny is when we had switched cars for the day - no matter where we parked he'd be mad; the car might be in the wrong spot, but the driver didn't go there!  It's like when those parking spots didn't line up with his expectations, his whole world was "off" for a while.

So when I replied to my friend's status on Facebook?  Here's what I said.

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Sometimes when a little kiddo has an action planned - obviously, she was intending to grab the milk - and then something happens to get in the way of that expectation, it's like there's a short circuit in their brain and they're not sure how to quickly switch gears.  So yelling or throwing a fit is the result.  Kind of like when you're taking a step when you think there's one more stair left, and you're already in the process of taking the step and can't really adjust - you trip or fall LOL. 

I ran into that a LOT with Jake when he was younger, he's much better at making quick adjustments now.  (My official two cents as a parent who had to read a ridiculous amount of literature on the developing child's brain and coping with developmental issues LOL)

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So long story short . . . sometimes kids do things that are completely random, and react in a way that as parents, we kind of think is crazy.  But I'm more likely to give kids the benifit of the doubt these days, and realize that even though *I* can't understand their reasoning, that doesn't mean they don't have a perfect good reason for being upset.

P.S. That stair comment?  Kind of ironic at the moment, since yesterday I tripped down the stairs and sprained my ankle.  Jenny for the win!