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You don't know me, but I want to tell you how sorry I am for your loss. Losing a sibling is very difficult, and I hope your path to healing is a quick one.

Also, this may be way out of bounds because NO ONE knows your child better than you do, but I'm an Aspie, and I feel compelled to encourage you not to be so sure that he didn't miss YOU. The upset to the schedule is somewhat traumatizing to be sure, I hate it when my routine is messed with. But it's still likely that he missed you. You're his mommy. :-) And it could be that part of why he talked about it for two full weeks had to do with your absence. Mondays aren't supposed to be without Mommy. This one was, and it made him sad. In my book, that's missing you, more than the schedule.

I hope I haven't offended you. I'm not trying to pretend I know your child better than you do. That's not possible to any degree.

Again, my sincerest condolences on the loss of your sister.

This is a great comment, thank you.  You are so, so right.  I have been really troubled the last few weeks about how my reaction to this all has been troubling Jake, and how Im letting him down.  The week following Marys death, I didnt study his spelling words with him AT ALL, and he got an 11/16 when he usually gets a 15/16 or 16/16.  I felt awful.  I made sure to tell his teacher that was completely my fault, as Jake is a GREAT student.

Ive talked a bit with Jake about how I feel bad about not being myself lately, but I have coupled it with allowing him more computer and Wii privileges - he actually said the other day Its ok if you need to go rest, that means I get to play computer for longer.  haha.

Im also making sure he gets to spend extra time with who he calls his best friend - MY best friends husband, who loves to play computer games with Jake.

thanks for leaving a comment!!!


Don't be too hard on yourself. This is a tough time, and we all handle it the best we know how. Further, it sounds like you're doing a great job. Keeping the lines of communication open, and making sure you're both getting love and support from those around you, is a great way to handle the situation. Keep your chin up.

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me & Jake