In Search of Myself

8-8-08

Today is 8-8-08. 

In the words of Michael Scott: "it happens once every billion years."

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Ok, for those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about:

Jan Levinson-Gould:	You already had a party on May fifth for no reason--
Michael Scott:	No reason? It was the 05/05/05 party, it happens once every billion years.

Soap Box

President Bush had this to say yesterday about stem-cell research:

"I made it clear to Congress and to the American people that I will not allow our nation to cross this moral line. Destroying human life in the hopes of saving human life is not ethical. And it is not the only option before us."

. . .

Funny, that's why I'm opposed to the war.

O'Charley's sucks now

Last night, wanting to be a fun mom and celebrate Jake's 1/2 birthday, we went to O'Charley's (me, my mom, and Jake.)

We were seated quickly, and I was excited about getting some good food.  When they brought out the bread, I was confused because it's usually these big, gooey, asymmetrical rolls -- and the ones they brought were hard, round little things.  I thought maybe they just screwed up one batch, but the next set we got were just like them.

Kids no longer eat free, but I knew that because Priscilla had already warned me.

I ordered the chicken quesadilla appetizer for my meal, and when it was brought to me, it was about half the size it normally is (but the price was still the same.)  I asked where the shredded lettuce was that always came with it, and the waitress said "Oh, we don't do shredded lettuce anymore."  Seeing the look of shock on my face, she quickly added "But I can have the kitchen cut you some."  When she brought it back out, it was NOT the right kind of lettuce, and it tasted like it still had garden dirt on it.

Jake's chicken fingers looked more like small chunks of chicken with gnarled appendages -- hardly any white meat was to be found.  Mostly it was just layers and layers of crispy breading.

But the clincher for me was the birthday cake.  Or lack thereof.  I asked if she could bring one of the small chocolate birthday cakes that they have ALWAYS had, and she said "Oh, we don't do those anymore, either.  But you can look at the dessert menu."  The chocolate cake she ended up bringing out was bitter and tasted like it had been sitting out all day.

Now I know a restaurant has the right to change their menu and all their food -- but DAMN, a little head's up would have been nice.  What a freaking waste of money.  I used to look forward to eating at O'Charley's as an occasional treat -- but after last night, I am literally never going there again.

Sheesh

Jake's school is closed today because a child that attends the school has a dangerous disease that no one in the civilized world should ever catch.

But the child's mother decided not to immunize him.  And fine, whatever.  It's not my business if someone wants to risk their child catching potentially deadly diseases.

But it does make me mad that because of this decision, a school is closed, a child is extremely sick, and I am paying for a day of school that Jake isn't attending and I won't get a refund on.  Oh, and the CDC is having to visit the school.  So that's fun.

The thing that bothers me the most, is that when an un-immunized child gets a disease that was preventable, they are then a risk to expose newborns who haven't had a chance to be immunized yet to the disease.  Yes, a family in the area experienced this recently, too.

And the most annoying part is, bloggers who don't believe in immunizing can go on and on about how awful and cruel and pointless they think it is, but someone who stands 100% behind immunization and expresses frustration about how they're affected by it is thought to be judgmental and closed minded if they talk about it.

Random rant

(because you know, random is what I do best.)

One of our blog friends recently expressed frustration at people asking her when she's having more children -- as if that is ANYONE'S business!  And I truly believe that unless the person you want to ask is a close and dear friend and you are alone -- and not putting her on the spot in front of a bunch of people -- that's just not something you should ask.  Ever.

Anyway.

That got me thinking about last Thursday (or was it the Thursday before that?) when Priscilla and the girls came over to my mom's house when I got home from work and we had pizza (yes, I eat pizza a lot, LOL).  We were all hanging out, when Z's mom, K, came to get her.  (Remember, my mom still has another childcare "charge" all day long.)  K had HER mother with her, and this woman is . . . interesting.  Loud and opinionated, and I guess she MEANS to be sweet or nice, but her lack of restraint in conversation kills all hope of that.

At one point, Priscilla had taken Aowyn into the hallway to change her diaper, and that's where the baby was, in her carseat -- she had been sleeping, so we had her out of the way.  She woke up, though, so I went over there to rock her and talk to her.  When P was done and went to throw away the diaper, Aowyn crawled into my lap and her face was right up next to mine and she was hugging me and talking to me.  For some reason I'm one of her favorite people in the world, and she was just excited to see me.  So I was holding her and talking to her, and Z's grandma picks that time to glance our way and say "Oh, just look at you.  You want a girl, don't you.  You need to have a girl."

And I didn't say anything, because I didn't want to be rude.  But you know what?  My interacting with Aowyn has NOTHING to do with maternal desires.  And it has EVERYTHING to do with the fact that I think she's a great kid and I love her.  I enjoy spending time with her, not as a replacement for a daughter I don't have, but because of who SHE is.  And I really don't need someone who hardly knows me trying to put into words what she thinks I'm feeling.

I'm a writer.  I can articulate my thoughts on my own, thanks.

So long story short, be careful what you say to people.  You might be trying to be nice or just to make conversation . . . but really you might be totally pissing them off.

Make your kids work.

Sandi has a great post up at her blog, asking whether she is too strict with her boys.  16 comments, and everyone agrees that she's doing awesome, giving them responsibility and having them share in the running of the household.  (Two of the comments are mine, toward the bottom.)

This reminds me of a discussion we were having in Sunday School a few weeks ago.  We were talking about parenting, and how do we raise our children to be responsible, loving, caring people.  There was a pause, and I said "I don't know . . . I'm a big fan of manual labor."

I got some stares from that, but then I explained that when kids are given responsibility and chores and work to do, it builds character.  It makes them realize that a house doesn't stay clean by itself, that dinner doesn't magically appear on the table, that it is THEIR job to keep track of their shoes.  The only way to develop a good work ethic is TO WORK.  When you work it into your child's everyday life, it just becomes second nature to be helpful, to be considerate, to realize they are partially responsible for any space they inhabit.

It really bothers me how much this generation of kids is coddled.  Working on a college campus, I see extreme examples of this -- and it gets worse every year.  Student who have no idea how to do laundry.  How to write a check.  How to plunge a toilet.  How to do dishes -- or even load a dishwasher!  How to budget their money or their time.  How to be considerate of the people who are helping them -- the maintenance workers, the landscapers, the security workers, the secretaries.  They have a severe lack of empathy and an absurd attitude of entitlement.  (And this REALLY makes me crazy.)

When Jake is with my mom at her house, he does all sorts of work.  He helps water the garden.  Heck, he helped PLANT the garden.  He takes a plastic bag out and picks the tomatoes and peppers and squash -- he was doing this when he was two years old!  (He's actually better at gardening than I am!)  He helps unload the dishwasher and put things away.  He helps take out the trash.  He helps with the dog and cat.  But the thing is, he doesn't REALIZE he's doing work.  It's just one more fun activity that Nana and he are doing together.

And that's the thing about work.  It doesn't have to suck.  It doesn't have to be something that makes you miserable.  It's just something that has to happen for the household to function properly.  You're setting your children up for failure later in life if you never make them do anything for themselves.

Just something I deeply believe.

New Year Thoughts.

A sweet fellow digi-scrapper, Sandra, sent this to me yesterday and it's just so perfect, I want to share it with all of you:

Also, Jennifer Pebbles -- the brains and vision behind Digital Memories Magazine -- has an AMAZING New Year's post that sums up everything I hope for in the coming year.  (No wonder we work so well together.  LOL.)  Read it here.

I turn 27 on Monday.  I always get reflective around my birthday.  This last year has been a good one.  I can't wait to see what this year brings.

Thankfulness

I know some of you read this last year, but for those of you who are new (or feel like reading it again, ha ha), here is something I wrote in college.  Happy Thanksgiving, y'all.

Lou's Latest Purchase

Lou came home from Target the other day and totally made me laugh. 

I looked at the glasses sitting on the counter, like "what's that?" and he said "I can't believe I bought juice glasses.  I feel so old."  heh.

P.S. I finally finished the other pictures for the Pumpkin farm project -- REALLY CUTE pictures of Aowyn and Elauna. Click here.

Spiders + a cute Lana story

Yesterday there was a tiny spider on Jake's Magna Doodle.  (He LOVES his Magna Doodle.  We play with it literally every day.  He makes me draw the most random things on it, then he'll draw random circles and say "Look!  I made planets!!!")  ANYWAY.  The Magna Doodle was flipped over upside-down, so I went to get the spider, then I noticed something dark down where the little drawer that holds the magnets pulls out.  Somehow a HUGE spider had gotten itself STUCK under there down in a diamond-shaped part of it.  The space wasn't fully accessible from any angle -- pushed all the way in, I could see part of it, pulled all the way out I could see the other part.  So I took the whole Magna Doodle over to the kitchen counter, poked the dumb spider to make sure it was dead, then got my tweezers and pulled it out.  It was so big I jumped once it was out, EVEN THOUGH I already knew it was dead.  Eew.  I was SO freaked out.  (And guys, I am NOT scared of most bugs.  I'm the one who usually kills bugs when OTHER people are scared.  Ask Priscilla.)

Ok, so here's another story (this one is gross at first, then cute) about spiders that this made me think of: last month Priscilla was telling me about a traumatic spider experience they had at their house -- a spider was squooshed to kill it, but when it was squooshed dozens of baby spiders came out and started going everywhere.  So while she's telling me this, I'm covering my mouth and saying (in shock) "No! . . .  No! . . . NO!"  Elauna marches over to me, points her little finger toward me, and says:

"You don't say No!  You say NO MA'AM!"

Through fits of laughter I sincerely apologized for the oversight.