In Search of Myself

Piano lessons (and oldest children)

I haven't written about piano lessons in a while.  It always seems to take a back burner.

I have five students now -- one of my old ones switched teachers (was nothing personal, they were just at the point where they needed more structure and challenge than I am willing to give and have known from the beginning they would switch once we got past the beginner stuff) but I started two more in September.  On Wednesday nights I now have 3 lessons -- all siblings.  Siblings are a challenge to teach, especially one after the other all in a row.  But I need the money, so I do it.

The boy is interesting.  He doesn't talk much, and when he does it's totally random.  He's very defeatist (always saying he can't do stuff), fidgets, doesn't pay attention -- pretty much, he doesn't want to be there.  He made me laugh the other day, though.  He kept randomly saying "meow" like he was a cat, but the lesson was almost over and I didn't have the energy to deal with it; he was behaving pretty well otherwise. At the end of the lesson I said something to him about really needing to try harder, and he rolled his eyes and said "I don't know what YOUR problem is.  You're trying to teach piano lessons to a CAT!"

just the way he said it . . . you had to be there.  I almost fell of my chair, it was so funny.

And then there's the oldest of the siblings -- oldest of 4 children, really (their 5 year old sister isn't in lessons.  Yet.)  Did you read Lisa's new blog entry about her bossy older child?  click here.  And Lisa didn't approach it with the framework of it being an oldest child thing -- but that's my theory about it.  Because I have taught a LOT of piano lessons in the last 12 years.  (How scary is it that I've been teaching for that long?!)  And the students that I have the MOST trouble with are oldest children.  (For the record, for those of you who don't know, I'm a middle child -- right in the middle of 3, two years on each side.)

Why are oldest children so difficult?  Because they're used to being the one in charge.  The one who makes decisions and bosses people around.  The one who is bigger and gets their way.  The one who is always right -- even if they're NOT always right, they're bigger and can make it seem like they are.  For some reason in lessons, they are more likely to make excuses or blame someone or something else when they make mistakes, instead of just admitting they made a mistake and fixing it.  They're more likely to argue with me about stupid things and then get offended when I correct them, no matter how gently.  They think THEY should be running the lesson. 

This, obviously, is pretty frustrating to a teacher.

And yesterday, lil' miss oldest sibling, who has been my student for over a year, was displaying ALL of these qualities.  At the end of the lesson, I actually had to say this to her:

I need you to work on your attitude.  I know that when you're at home you're the oldest and you get to run things.  But in piano lessons?  You are the student.  In your lesson you are the only student and I am the teacher.  I am the one with a college degree in teaching piano.  I am the one who has been teaching piano for longer than you've been alive.  I am the one who is in charge here, and I need for you to not argue with me or be sarcastic when you don't like what we're doing, or pout when you don't like what you hear.  Because when you act that way, you're wasting my time and you're wasting your parents' money and you're making this SO much harder than it has to be.

You should have seen her face.  Totally shell-shocked.  But I'm hoping it got through.

An e-mail to Jake's OT

after I wrote this e-mail to Rachael, I figured it made a pretty good blog entry, too.  So here it is.  :)

Hey Rach -- here are two pics of Jake I thought you might like:

-- finger-painting!  He started out "machine" painting -- letting his machines run through the paint and make tire tracks -- then started covering his hands with the paint and slamming them down on the paper and shouting "hand-print!" each time.  it was hilarious!  He's really making progress on the tactile-defensiveness thing, isn't he!!!

-- building a "bed" in his tunnel and falling asleep in there.  He uses the tunnel now a lot like that body sock thing, as a place to hide and feel surrounded -- likes me to put blankets on it so the entrances are blocked and it's dark and he's "trapped" in there -- then he just chills out.  Such a goof.  :) see you Friday!!!

Another blast from the past.

Weekend stuff

Jake and I had a good weekend.  I feel like I got absolutely nothing done.  And maybe that's ok.

Mom was out of town visiting dad (who hopefully will be done camping in a few weeks before he totally freezes) so we had to stay overnight with the dogs (Kathy works nights.)  For some reason when we're at Nana's house, Jake never goes to bed before midnight, and I end up watching the Disney channel.  How sad is it that I kind of like Hannah Montana and The Suite Life with Zach and Cody?  I know, I'm pitiful.

Friday we went to the post office, the library, AND the small pumpkin patch thing at a church down the street.  We were there for like 3 minutes -- I let Jake pick out 4 small pumpkins and he is very proud of them.  (We still need to find a time to go to the cool farm we went to last year and spend several hours hanging out.)  Oh, and that morning we hung out with Priscilla and the girls, which is always fun.

On Saturday Nannie and Pa came over for a little bit, and Jake played his Diego 1-2-3 game with them.  That was pretty cute.  Even if Jake is shy and distant around you, he will turn right around if you will play with him.  We pretty much sat around and did nothing on Saturday.

Today after church Jake insisted on going to Panera because he wanted some tea.  Seriously.  And who am I to argue.  And then we stopped by Target, 'cause hey -- we like doing that on Sundays.  I decided to do my Christmas shopping for Jake.  I got the things I'd been thinking about and had decided on, and I let him pick out a few things.  Then we came home and wrapped them together.  I'm going to have Lou hide them so Jake isn't temped to play with them.  But I'm WAY proud of myself that I'm pretty much done shopping for the boy.  That's just good stuff.

Episode 4, Season 3 :)

A couple people have asked me what I thought of last Thursday's Grey's Anatomy.  So here goes.

My heart stopped when dude with the oxygen mask lit the cigarette.  How stupid are some people?!  They did a good job, effects wise, making him look like he was on fire.

I LOVED Bailey's speeches to Addie (No man -- not Derick, not Mark -- defines who you are) and Mark (It’s not about what you look like -- or your job -- or how successful you are.  It’s about having people in your life that you love -- who love you.)  She rocks my world.

more below

Going postal

Do you remember hearing about the postal worker who just didn't feel like delivering all the mail, so he either threw it away or let it all pile up in his house or something?

There are days here at work where I *almost* see where that guy was coming from.

heh.

Doing well

Well, the procedure went well.  Jake, on the other hand, has been a screaming, whining terror all day long.  (In his defense, it's been a hard day.)  We were there at 6, they got started around 7, we were home by 9.  His mouth seems pretty sore, but there's been no throwing up today, and that makes me happy!!!!

Random rant

(because you know, random is what I do best.)

One of our blog friends recently expressed frustration at people asking her when she's having more children -- as if that is ANYONE'S business!  And I truly believe that unless the person you want to ask is a close and dear friend and you are alone -- and not putting her on the spot in front of a bunch of people -- that's just not something you should ask.  Ever.

Anyway.

That got me thinking about last Thursday (or was it the Thursday before that?) when Priscilla and the girls came over to my mom's house when I got home from work and we had pizza (yes, I eat pizza a lot, LOL).  We were all hanging out, when Z's mom, K, came to get her.  (Remember, my mom still has another childcare "charge" all day long.)  K had HER mother with her, and this woman is . . . interesting.  Loud and opinionated, and I guess she MEANS to be sweet or nice, but her lack of restraint in conversation kills all hope of that.

At one point, Priscilla had taken Aowyn into the hallway to change her diaper, and that's where the baby was, in her carseat -- she had been sleeping, so we had her out of the way.  She woke up, though, so I went over there to rock her and talk to her.  When P was done and went to throw away the diaper, Aowyn crawled into my lap and her face was right up next to mine and she was hugging me and talking to me.  For some reason I'm one of her favorite people in the world, and she was just excited to see me.  So I was holding her and talking to her, and Z's grandma picks that time to glance our way and say "Oh, just look at you.  You want a girl, don't you.  You need to have a girl."

And I didn't say anything, because I didn't want to be rude.  But you know what?  My interacting with Aowyn has NOTHING to do with maternal desires.  And it has EVERYTHING to do with the fact that I think she's a great kid and I love her.  I enjoy spending time with her, not as a replacement for a daughter I don't have, but because of who SHE is.  And I really don't need someone who hardly knows me trying to put into words what she thinks I'm feeling.

I'm a writer.  I can articulate my thoughts on my own, thanks.

So long story short, be careful what you say to people.  You might be trying to be nice or just to make conversation . . . but really you might be totally pissing them off.

Old Pics (well, 6 months old)

Pics from Lou's camera phone

Jake on his bike in our driveway:

And from Lou's camping trip: "We are men.  We wear cammo pants.  We make fire.  We cut meat."

You know, you're only one of the cool people if you have a real jersey for bike-riding.  None of that t-shirt crap.