In Search of Myself

Memorial Day, part one.

To do today . . .

~ upload all my pictures from this weekend.  DONE. I will start sharing soon.

~ write about how crazy and fun my sister is. DONE 6-1-05

~ attempt to write about how much fun I had meeting all my blog friends.  Gosh, where would I even start?!!!

~ pick out which pictures to show you guys from Jake's time in the pool at Aunt Julie's house for the Memorial Day gathering and write an entry about that.  He had SO much fun.  We're STILL a little worn out from the whole thing.  HALF DONE.

~ catch up all this work on my desk!  I'm afraid this has to take top priority!  BLECH.  (Do you know how HARD it is to come in to work after being out for 4 days?  Sheesh.)  *edited*  OK, I worked all morning and am caught up, and I just remember my other big project this week: consolidate, organize, and back-up ALL MY DATA on my work computer.  (Umm, that's a lot.)  My computer is up for rotation and I'm getting a new one next week.  This is going to keep me BUSY.

*updated* Here's a sneak peek from the party:

My on-line friends.

Almost two years ago -- when I first got my iP diary -- I started getting to know some other mama's, finding friends on-line for the first time.  I started my iP diary partially because I just love to write and I wanted the motivation to write about Jake's life, but also because I wanted to connect with other mamas.  I needed some friends who would understand me.  I still felt like I was all alone since all my college friends had gone off and left me after graduation.  The only mama friend I really had then was Priscilla, and we weren't super-close yet -- and I was still more on an acquaintance rather than good friend level with Jen (Ryan/Alexis' mom) from church.  So I hopped on-line.  Sue from Australia was my very first commenter.  (HI SUE!!!  I love you, Sue!!!)  Not too long after, I got the following message from Kelly on my Talk To Me (TTM) board:

9-3-03
Hey there~
I am a new diary writer as well - over at Moms Today. Would love for you to drop by and TTM! I enjoyed your latest entry. I have really enjoyed getting to know other moms out there and its nice to read about other peoples lives to know you are not alone when you are having a hard mommy day  Take care and I will keep reading~
Kelly MT writer

I don't know why Kel chose to read my diary out of all the diaries at IP and post to tell me hello.  I had no idea the ride we were in for.  I think it was providence that Kelly and I crossed paths.  I immediately loved Kelly because of her friendliness and her honesty.  There was just something about her that I connected with.  We spent over a year at IP, keeping up with each other as well as the other friends we were making through the TTM boards (which now seems so archaic!!!)  I usually stopped by on Monday mornings to tell her hello and check in and start a new "thread" on her TTM board.  I met so many wonderful friends through Kelly -- she's like a friendship match-maker!  Summer of 2004 we all revolted against IP and moved to blog-world -- and boy did that change things!  Blogs just make SO much sense for all of us.  The pictures, the comments on individual posts, being able to customize text, fun sidebar items, being able to link in posts, being able to EDIT an entry after you've posted it, complete control over every aspect of your site . . . I am forever grateful to Kelly for dragging us all into blog land.

It's odd how you can come to love and depend on the friendship of someone you've never met in person.  I used to roll my eyes at people who talked about stuff like this, thinking "oh, well when you have no other friends, of COURSE you have to go on-line to find them."  But now I understand.  I am lucky now to have Priscilla, who is the greatest friend I could EVER hope for, my sister nearby, my friends at church, the girls I've met who work on campus that also have kids, two college friends who are back in town . . . I literally can't always find time to see and hang out with all my local friends.  But my on-line friends have such a big piece of my heart.  (Yes, even the new ones.  I think you are ALL great.)  I've been wanting to meet Kel IRL (in real life) for SO long -- even last year I was trying to figure out how I could get away to her state for a visit.  Money and time never cooperates, and I was beginning to think our kids would be in college before we were able to get together.  But this Saturday I will finally meet my bestest on-line buddy!  I am SO EXCITED about this blog party, I can't even tell you.  I'm excited about meeting everyone -- and seeing awesome Cara for the 3rd time, YAY! -- but finally meeting Kel just takes the cake.  She is supportive, sweet, loyal, smart, funny, and wonderful.  She keeps us all entertained -- what would we do without the Hump-Day Hottie or the Friday Five?  She is REAL and she is a jewel and I feel so lucky to have her as a friend.

So needless to say, you may not be hearing much from me until Monday or Tuesday (AND I have Monday off work!  A four day weekend!  WOW!!!)  I'm leaving tomorrow to spend the night with my sister Sheri (coolest sister in the whole world!!!), then on to Cara's house on Saturday.  Have fun you guys, and a quick warning -- if anyone leaves a nasty message on this post about ANY of my friends, you will be found. I'm not putting up with any crap on my site.  Ok, have a great weekend, then!!!

Jake-isms, 5-26-05

Yet another entry about Jake-isms and the things Jake is up to these days.  There's a lot, but he just does so many cute things that I want to remember, I want to get them all written before I forget.

When Jake eats hotdogs, everything gets messy.  I hate how greasy they are -- so I always clean his hands, face, and sippy cup before I take the bowl, fork, and high chair tray to the sink to clean.  The other day after I wiped down his cup, he thrust it back at me, pointed toward the oven kitchen towel and said "Dry it!"  I said "What?"  and he said "Dry it.  Towel."

Jake has a little plastic blue and green step stool in the downstairs half-bath that he uses to climb up on the potty (all by himself!), to reach the sink . . . and most recently, get to the DVDs on top of a bookshelf in the living room.  The first time he figured out he could do this, he was on his tip-toes reaching desperately to reach the SpongeBob DVD.  (WHOOOOOOOOOooo lives in a pineapple under the sea . . . . heh.)  Anyway, he suddenly stopped, ran off toward the bathroom muttering "need step stool," ran back to the bookshelf carrying the step stool (all the while muttering "need step stool . . . need step stool . . ."), then climbed up on it and he grabbed the SpongeBob DVD for me.  So now the step stool divides it's time between the bathroom and in front of the DVDs.

Whenever Jake sees a purple Booh-Bah, he points to it and says "Elauna."  I hadn't been able to figure this out, but then I asked Priscilla the other day what color Elauna's big Booh-Bah was.  (Remember when she bought Jake a big orange BoohBah she found on sale?  She got Elauna one that day, too.) It's purple. Why he remembers that one random fact about a toy he's never played with, just seen on her couch a few times when we've been over to visit, I have no idea.

Some days I think Jake loves Sadie-dog more than he loves me.  He is OBSESSED with that dog.  Everything she does makes him laugh.  He's now telling me he misses her when we pull out of mom's driveway, instead of at least waiting until we're at the end of the street.  Tuesday night all evening he was sing-song saying "Oh Saaaaa-deeeeeee.  Oh Saaaaaaa-deeeeeeeee."  Seriously.  All night.

On Wednesdays we spend the night at my mom's because I get there late (because of piano lessons after work.)  It's nice to just chill out with my parents and not have to leave so early in the morning to get to their house, Lou comes over for the evening and spends quality time with Sadie dog us (not to mention being able to just leave Jake in bed at 6 a.m. instead of dragging him half-asleep to the car.)  And usually Jake's more than thrilled to stay at Nana's, because the dog is there and hey, Nana's house is fun.  But our house is having more and more appeal lately -- mostly because of his fairly new computer games.  And I think the alone time with me.  So sometimes on Wednesday nights when I get there, Jake says "Go home?  Drive in car?  Go home?" and I have to tell him we're staying.  This morning I was getting up to get ready and he woke up and I hear a "ma . . . ma . . . " whimper.  I picked him up and rocked him a little and he leaned back and looked up at me and said "Mama, go home."  I said "No, I have to go to work now, but you can play with Sadie and I'll come get you this afternoon and then we'll go home."  He said "No.  No work.  Go home.  With me." Poor kid.  Broke my heart.  (And read my mind.)  I handed him off to my mom . . . what's funny, though, is an hour later I called from work to see how he was doing -- my mom said "Jake, do you want to talk to mommy?" and he said "NO!  No.  I playin'."  He's so goofy.

Jake's obsessed with Media Play.  He asks me EVERY DAY if we can go there.  People, he's been inside the store like three times in the past year (ok, all 3 times were within the last 2 months), but he knows there's books, videos, magazines, toys, software there . . . hell, it's the coolest store ever!  Why NOT go there every day?  He pronounces the words Media Play pretty well, actually (especially for him.  Some things he says are still closer to baby babble, but stuff like this sounds extremely clear.)

Tuesday Jake and Zoe were playing on the swing-set, going down the slide feet first on their stomachs.  Mom said that EVERY SINGLE TIME he landed, he said "That was fun!" Every. time.  Like 50 times.  "That was fun!" 

So I've mentioned before my child's obsession with teeth-brushing . . . yesterday he was playing with Mr. Potatohead, and it dawned on him that Mr. P has teeth.  He hopped up, ran to the half-bathroom (where I keep an extra toothbrush because I always want to brush my teeth -- hmm, wonder where he got that obsession?), and he grabbed my toothbrush.  He came back into the living, sat down with Mr. P, and proceeded to "brush" his teeth (all the while telling me "Brush teeth, mama.")  It was so cute, I couldn't get mad.  So I took pictures instead.  I'm definitely throwing that toothbrush out, though.

One last one:  Tuesday night I was talking to Priscilla about Jake's hair, asking her if it looks weird now that it's so short.  She of course said he looked fine (like she would tell me he looks bad now . . ) and I was rambling about it . . . Jake looked at us with his hand on his head and very seriously said "Nana did it."  Ha ha!

My girls.

I was HALF A SECOND OFF from getting the cutest picture in the world of these two kissing.  I was so disappointed when I realized I'd missed it.  This is the best I could do last night. I'm still not in sync with my new camera -- I am missing all the great shots of the kids.  So between that, Elauna running away from me (she has so much energy!), and Aowyn wanting to grab the camera everytime she saw it instead of looking at me sweetly, I didn't get any good pics of the girls last night. :o( But really, we had SO MUCH FUN.  Priscilla and I talked on the phone for like 45 minutes when I first got to my mom's house to pick Jake up (he was just waking up and then playing in the backyard with grand-dad and didn't want much to do with me yet anyway), and then later she was over for like 3 hours. It's amazing to me how we never get tired of each other's company (amazing on her end.  I love hanging out with her, and she never gets sick of me!  It's wonderful!)  Aowyn is VERY mobile now -- she can crawl, and FAST.  It makes me nervous, because Jake never puts stuff in his mouth, so I leave things laying around that with another child I wouldn't -- I even let him play with a penny in a ring box.  (He LOVES it.  He has NEVER put money in his mouth and I am confident that he never will.  I know my child.  Trust me on this.)  But I'm so afraid that Aowyn will find something and chow down on it before we have a chance to take it away -- so we held her as much as she'd let us, and watched her like a hawk the rest of the time.  (And this was after I cleaned up the downstairs to try to catch stuff like that -- although you couldn't tell it to look at the place . . . having slight clutter issues right now.  heh.)  I can't believe how big she seems all of a sudden -- we're having to cope with her starting to not be a baby anymore.  (Which is sad even for me, and I'm not her mama!!!)  (Initially, I was just editing Priscilla out of this picture because as a general rule I don't post less than perfect pics of my friends . . . and I got carried away and embellished the pic.  I think we can use it as a scrapbook page.  heh.)  And Elauna is talking CIRCLES around Jake.  I wish you could hear her and see her animated personality.  She makes me laugh so hard.

I have no catchy ending for this post.  I just love my (Priscilla's) girls.

A catch-my-breath picture

The last time I got a "SO Jake" picture, it was 2 months ago.  I'm constantly in search of the perfect picture of him.  You would think with the "talent" I have with photos, I would be able to do this more often.  But it's SO hard to get a picture of him to look the way I see him through my eyes.  (Mamas, I know that makes sense to you.)  It doesn't help that Jake's always busy doing something else, and when he does notice the camera I get a cheese face (which I love, too, but I want that beautiful, REAL smile.  And this isn't a FULL smile, but it's the sweet look in the eyes that gets me.)  For me, this picture is IT.  It probably just looks like one more picture to you, but I absolutely love it.  *sigh*  I love my buddy.

What's weird . . .

. . . is that I'm wide awake.  Priscilla and the girls were over until about midnight last night.  (And we had so much fun!)  Jake didn't fall asleep until after 1 a.m.  I have to leave my house by 6 to get to work by 7 -- and here it is, 8:20 a.m. I am wide awake.  I'm just now starting to drink some coffee, but that's only because I needed something to go with the banana bread my mom made me.  (My mommy loves me.)  I wish I could be this awake every day!  Maybe P and the girls need to come over and stay late more often.  ;o)

I am SUCH a smart-ass

A telemarketer called me (I know, because it's a blocked number and I can tell by how they talk) and said "Hello, may I talk to [boss boss]?"

I said "He's out for two days, can I put you to his voicemail?"

She asked "Umm, well when would be a better time to call him?"

Me: "In . . . two . . . days?"  LOL.

Some quick Jake-isms

Working on utility bills again at work today, so not much time for bloggin'.  I do have to share a few cute things that Jake said yesterday, though.

I gave Jake a quick bath when I picked him up from my mom's yesterday because he was stinky and sticky.  My mom got him out of the bath and dressed while I sat with Zoe on mom's bed.  (Mom and Jake have their routine with a certain towel and hairbrush, etc, and she likes doing it so I let her.)  Mom was holding Jake at the end of the bed after brushing his hair (which is REALLY short now because she just cut it, but I guess it can be short for summer), and Zoe ran over and wanted to be held, too.  Jake pushed her back and said "No, go away."  I know it's not nice, and we told him so, but it was kind of funny -- Zoe is SO clingy and whiny, and Jake is finally learning to stand up to her instead of just letting her always pick on him and get her way (she's a year younger than him but a total diva/drama queen/spoiled brat, so my sympathy when she doesn't get her way is limited.)

That night at home, Jake was in his high chair playing with playdough (the only place he's allowed to play with the stuff -- have you ever tried to get playdough out of carpet?  Actually yeah, you probably have.)  Anyway, he sits there and I'll kneel in front of him and help him make shapes, then sneak off to sit on the couch (two feet away) when he's engrossed enough in playing.  Then I get up periodically and check on him to see if he wants to put it up or needs help.  I got up and knelt next to him, and he grabbed the playdough back towards his body and said "I still playin', mama."

Later, Jake was in time-out for not listening to daddy while mommy tried to take a quick catnap. It was like 7:30 p.m. and I was laying down on Jake's bed while he played in his room and Lou watched from the rocking chair -- so Lou left the room and I made Jake lay down with me for a while until he calmed down.  He flopped around on his pillow a few times, then said "I tant sweep." (I can't sleep.)  Totally cracked me up.

One of Jake's new phrases is "What happened?"  This is usually in response to hearing the modem when I connect to the computer, or the ice cubes clunking around in the freezer.  He runs over to me, wide-eyes, and says "What happened, mama?"  Yesterday after saying this as I was trying to check my e-mail before bed, he pointed to the couch and said "Go lay down!"  heh.

P.S. to all my recent delurkers: HI!  I'm SO glad you're taking time to post, it makes me so happy to see new faces names! ;o)

New SB pages ~ 5-23-05

So we still need your help catching the blog troll (dude, and she's been on my site all freaking day -- I HAVE SITEMETER.  I SEE YOU.  Geez), but I want something happy and fun at the top of my site.  So here are some SB pages I made today.  This first one is totally for Priscilla's benefit, it's all her fault that I love Starbuck's.  I wanted to do a fun layout just FOR ME, and this is what I came up with.  (click on it to see the full page so you can read what I wrote.)  ;o)

This second one, I wanted to get these pics of Jake and Sadie from this weekend scrapped while I was still thinking about it.  Sadie is developing quite the personality -- and she runs SO fast now.  We're working on training her to sit and behave and all that . . . not there yet.  We'll keep trying.  ;o)