Mornings Blah . . . and a song

Jake has been having really bad mornings lately.  He wakes up as I'm getting ready for work -- and I'm always on a tight schedule anyway -- and cries and cries.  He wants me to hold him.  It makes sense -- you're a toddler, it's the middle of the freakin' night (ok, 5:30 a.m.) and you're awake but not ready to be.  It makes SENSE that you would want your mama to hold you.  And the mother part of me wants nothing more in the world to take him in my arms and lay back down with him and let him feel safe and happy, and sleep 3 more hours.  But the practical part of me, the part that has to deal with bills once a month, knows I have to find a way to get out that door in the next 15 minutes.  Go ahead, cry your little heart out while I get ready to go off to work, tra la la, and make a piddly amount of money, just enough so we can pay our bills and thus not have people hunting us down, demanding payment. Not that I think Sallie Mae would hunt us down, but you never know (see sidebar on left at bottom for why Sallie Mae would hunt me down.  And if you don't know who Sallie Mae is, you are LUCKY.) 

The whole thing makes me feel completely horrible, but not working isn't an option.  And it would make more sense for me to not have to commute 20 miles each way, but right now I don't know what other job I could do that's close by.  My county doesn't have a lot of JOB jobs, it's mostly a suburb for people to live in, who work in Nashville -- most of the businesses are just stores and such (or warehouses.)  What I really really want to do is work part-time -- but I know right now that's also not an option because that wouldn't bring in enough money to keep up with everything.  (And none of this crap about working really costs more than staying home.  That's bullsh*t.)  So I'm stuck every morning having to let my darling child cry while I rush us out the door.  And I'm not a morning person anyway, so that combined with Nashville traffic puts me in a pretty crappy mood for the rest of the day.

BUT, just to show you I'm not hopeless, here is a link for some pretty cool music.  If you click on it you will be taken to a MIDI page where it plays for you (like Becca's cool post!!!)  If you like Gershwin (or have always wondered what the big deal about Gershwin is), listen to this.  It's 3 preludes -- for a pianist, probably Gershwin's most popular pieces.  I can't play it (well, I've never learned it), but a good friend in college did and I was always in awe.  ;o)  It will have you smiling (and I know you need cheering up after reading this post.)

Comments

[Andrea]

Hi Jenny-Ra!!
I really liked the Gershwin! A friend of mine at BHSU played the last two preludes at a student recital! I just love listening to Gershwin stuff. Andy and I have a CD with An American in Paris and Rhapsody in Blue on it. I think it's with Berstein playing piano, too. Anyway, it's amazing! Sorry to hear about your new morning ritual. I'm not much of a morning person either, so I can relate to that much! Hope it gets better.
Love ya,
Andy-roo

[Bill]

Doesn’t have a lot of jobs? Check this news tip out:
http://www.bls.gov/news.release/pdf/cewqtr.pdf

How about these major employers: M*SU, M*MC, the VA, the county & numerous city governments, and all the factories (these have offices, too).

Bill

[Jen_Jake'smom]

Bill --
thank you for that link, and the ideas. You are absolutely right. I wasn't thinking beyond the parts of town that I see day to day -- I need to get out there and explore what is around me. I don't want to go into M'boro, because commuting 10 miles the other way would be as bad as 20 miles the way I do now. But definitely I will start looking to what my town and the neighboring town have, that I don't SEE. (I need to open my eyes, eh?)

Jen

[Sue]

Hey Jen - thanks for the music! What a good way to ease into the work day :)

Mornings are often crappy around my place too, with the crazy rush to get out of the door, R's dawdling then melting down because he can't hold a certain item while we drive the 2 minutes to his carer's house. I'm often exhausted before I get to work. It's hard, hard, hard when they're not feeling too good or you just plain want to stay home and BE with them.

I DO agree with you wholeheartedly about the 'it costs more to work than stay at home' myth. All the sums in the world is never going to make that true for most of us(unfortunately). Oh, I have NO IDEA who Sallie Mae is, BTW - probably a good thing! But you've done GREAT with your college debt, girl :)