I love my dad

This SB layout has pictures of my dad and my older sister, Mary, from 1978 and 1979.  I made it with old pictures that were extra from when I organized my mom's old photo albums (I had to rescue them all from the sticky-paged albums -- those are not safe for pictures!!!  Use albums where the photos slip in!)  Anyway, it's so funny to see what my dad looked like when I was small (Sheri, I'll bet this doesn't look so odd to you, this is what he looked like when you were in high school!!!)  I think Jake looks a lot like my sister Mary.

Anyway, I was thinking the other day about my parents.  My mom is so great with Jake and such a help to me -- and I know that she sacrificed a lot for us when we were growing up.  BUT.  She is the source of a lot of my self-esteem/self-worth issues.  Nothing I do is ever good enough.  She continually looks past any of my accomplishments and focuses on my failures.  Dwells on them.  Brings them up in conversation.  I never measure up.  Straight A's, sports successes, musical successes, never getting into trouble -- this was never good enough.  You will never hear her say anything positive about me.  I've told this story before, but not all of you have heard it: when I was in high school, I took Chemistry and it was really hard.  I studied my butt off for a test and I was so proud of myself for getting a 97%.  I came home and showed it to her, and the only thing she said was "what happened to the other 3 points?"  What the hell!!!  I know a lot of it isn't her fault, she had a crappy childhood, yada yada, and I try not to hold it against her or be too offended.

When I think about my dad, though, one word continually comes to mind: compassion.  He knows I don't always measure up or make good decisions, but he has faith in me.  He looks beyond my faults.  He challenges me to think about things beyond what is obvious or comfortable.  He respects my intelligence and engages me in conversation about topics beyond motherhood.  He doesn't see me for my mistakes or my flaws -- he sees in me the person I'm trying to be, and he encourages me to find a way to get there and to keep trying.  I want so much to be like him from day to day as I raise Jake.  As we go through life raising our children, I hope we'll all think about how our actions and attitudes toward them will affect them as they grow up.

Comments

[Pink Stuff!!!!]

Jenny,

It breaks my heart everytime I hear your Mom isn't supportive of you and/or Mary or Kathy. You ARE an amazing young woman facing the same dilemas all working parents face. I do realize she had an extremely hard childhood, however should not at any point take it out on you. I honestly feel that she seeks out her own weaknesses in you and criticizes you for them. Honestly, it has less to do with you than her. She is disappointed she hasn't had the same success and the same accomplishments as you.

Don't ever let that discourage you from doing anything. She tries to do the same to me as well. I truly defy her criteria and am quite successful in spite of it all. Hmmm.... no college degree, but a heck of alot of HARD work and a fairly challenging life and I am very happy both personally and professionally.

I have to tell you I am quite impressed you can raise Jake, keep a household with Lou, in addition to work, the blog, scrapbooking, etc., etc......... YIKES!!!!!! We just work (our a**ea off), play, sleep and shop (me, not Harlin') and are running crazy. Oh yes, and I forgot.... photography. (Now that's what I want to be when I grow up!)

CUTO (Chin Up Tits Out!) Girl!!!! You are amazing, don't ever forget it!