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November 05, 2004


Jen A

Ok, I started to type a response to this post and it got away from me. When I hit "Preview," I couldn't believe how long it was, and when I copied it into Microsoft Word, it was 2 pages! So, instead of taking up so much room in your blog, I will e-mail you what I wrote.....and then later make a blog entry out of my own thoughts--giving you proper props, of course!


Good grief--way to ask such a thought provoking life altering question on a Friday. I was all set to not use my brain today until I read your blog.....:)

I know that for me personally Ella will know about Santa. She already recognizes him and will say "ho ho ho" when you ask her what Santa says. BUT I don't intend for her to just get a million gifts. I have asked g-parents to please give $ for her college fund and then a small gift. I am sure they will not stick to this but all I can do is ask.

Dennis and I do not plan to get many things for her~ both b/c she doesn't need them and b/c it is too overwhelming for her. Last year we put over 1/2 of her gifts away and gave them to her 1 at a time all summer.

Have you thought about doing this?? I know lots of ppl who give there kids 3 gifts--b/c after all Jesus only received 3 gifts. They do stockings and the 3 gifts and that is it.

Also you could divide the gifts into 3--1 "need" (clothes or shoes), 1 "educational" (books ....) and 1 "fun" (toy).

One thing we did with Ella last year and will continue is the Angel Tree. We try to pick a child that is her same age and we buy for them. We go as a family and pick things out for the child. This year TRU had buy one get one free on the Fisher Price dollhouses. I got one for Ella and one for her angel (E. is getting hers for her b-day). I want her to know that there are children who can't afford a nice Christmas. We will also give away some of her toys to those with less. I really want to instill in her the idea that "to whom much is given much is expected". She is very fortunate to have what she does and I want her to always be mindful of that.

I guess my point is~~ I think there is a happy medium between tons of gifts and "media" hype and no Christmas at all. We plan to do some things like take in the car to look at Christmas lights one night. We will watch The Grinch Who Stole Christmas together and read the story of Jesus's birth in the Bible along with "Twas the Night Before Christmas" on Christmas Eve.

We hope to make it more about spending time together as a family.

Okay this is a novel!!

Huge hugs!! I know you will figure out what is right for you and Jake



Leslie, the 3 gifts is a great idea! I'm really curious to see what other parents do, so I'm glad when you guys write me novels!!!

I may try to do the Christmas lights thing this year -- he does enjoy lights! There's a lot this year that we just can't do because he's not old enough. Or is just at that age where he won't sit still! When he was 3.5 months old I took him to see the Nashville Children's Choir's Christmas program, and he sat through the whole thing! He didn't make a sound! It was glorious . . . I would never attempt that right now! ;o)

Hope we can get together soon!!!


Pink Stuff!!!!

Jen, Wow.... This is pretty deep lil Sister! It's good to know you think I'm kewl (or at least don't want to hurt my feelings ;-) Ha-ha! I'll tell you a story bout one of the boys, not saying which one and please don't say this in front of "The Family," if you know what I mean. He had a wish, one that had nothing to do with material things... and would write a letter to Santa every year, tear it up and throw it to the wind in hopes that it would travel to Santa and his wish would come true. That is what Santa meant to him. A glimmer of hope.... He never quite writing his yearly letters until he stopped believing. Reflecting on this makes me think about how Santa, in addition to God (saying the prayer every night) helped him to get through. Now one might think that as long as they are 'there' for their children and are 'open' it will be enough, but soon one comes to realize that you are just 'one' of the characters in the play called their life. Most likely the leading character, but just one none the less.

It is totally yours AND Lou's decision to decide 'what' Santa represents in Jake's life. He can be that magical, caring figure who has the potential (in addition to God, don't flame me peoples...) to help Jake think about possibilities and dreams, even LONG after he doesn't believe. That's really what it represents to me.

As for the presents, decide what limits you would like to set. I would never deprive a child of presents, but also think they loose their special meaning if one receives too many. One of your friends posted above how she wished her parents would get bonds for her children. That is what I plan to do for Nathan, but in addition, I will buy him a quirky little gift that he will enjoy. Yes, and DON'T forget an ornament every year.... Even at 21 & 26, I do this for my guys. They line them up each year before putting them on the tree. Each one brings memories back; what happened that year, either good or bad. Chrismas time is all about making memories and possibilites. I trust you and Lou will make the right decision for your family. This is about the two of you together doing what is best.

Ho-Ho-Ho!!! Merry Christmas!!!!



Well, I believed in Santa till around 9-10, and I'm ok (well, I think so, friends may disagree LOL) I loved the magic of it, even after I knew the "truth." The magic, the stories, seeing Santa in a store....made Christmas very special. It still does, I'm a big Santa fan.

My parents started a tradition mentioned up above in another post. Santa only brought me 3 unwrapped gifts, because Jesus only recieved 3. They also told me as I grew wiser about Santa, is that Santa helps bring about goodwill and peace during this Season of Christ's birth. Jesus is the reason for the Season, and Santa is a way of reminding ourselves of family, goodness, giving, and joy.

Santa doesn't have to bring all presents. My parents grew up on farms, and Santa literally brought them oranges, apples, and maybe peppermint. (Very Laura Ingalls)and in their families, their parents did the same thing - brought Santa up as an example of goodwill and Jesus together. There was nothing commercial about that. Santa is only as commercial as parents make him (what are they willing to buy?).

Another good idea to keep the message of Christmas true, is maybe have Jake give up a loved toy every year to another needy child, along with buying a child a new toy for Santa to bring him/her. What a lesson!! Plus, passing on the magic. Then, when Jake learns the truth, that as a person Santa isn't real, but his symbol of peace, love, goodwill, and sacrifice to live on in people is what is "real", and Santa is those actions personified - it will be easy for Jake to understand why there is a "Santa". Jake could always continue the tradition of giving children toys to pass that magic and goodwill to others, as well as keeping the magic alive for other beliving young children.

Hope these are some ideas for you. What ever you and your husband decide to do, it is your decision, and of course you guys are doing what is best!!! You are a wonderful mom! I have always been glad I knew and loved Santa, and I have never fully stopped believing, but you also have valid points, so it is what you think is best.

I think the solution will be in how you present the concept of Santa.

Good Luck!

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  • May 4th, 2002 Our wedding September 14th, 2002. Going home from the hospital with 2 day old baby Jake! 10 days old and we're ALL worn out! 1st Halloween (6 weeks) 1st Christmas (3.5 months) January 2003 ~ 4 months old July 2003 ~ 10 months old December 2003 ~ 15 months old

    Easter 2004 ~ 18 months
    June 2004 ~ 21 months old Lou's 28th birthday. 10-23-2004. Easter 2005 ~ 30 months old

    Roger and Bonnie's wedding, Sept. 10th, 2005 ~ 2 days away from being THREE years old!!!