25 months old and making me crazy.

It's the 12th of the month, so Jake is 25 months old today. And I'm 25 at the moment (26 in January) -- he has lived one month for every year I have lived. I know I've said it before, but the passage of time really is so odd. 25 used to seem so old to me, and I used to think that by 25 I would know what I'm doing. Now I'm hoping that by 30 or even 35 I'll have a clue!

I'm really glad I had my "wow, Jake is my son and I love him so much" epiphany last week, because he drove me crazy all weekend. When I stop to really think about it, a lot of the things he does that make me mad are all things he got from me -- the overwhelming desire to push any button in sight (the microwave, the computer, the TV, his DVD player), the need to draw on the walls, cabinets, and now switchplates with RED crayon and decorate every square inch of our downstairs with stickers. BUT he also does things I don't remember doing -- like dumping every book off the shelf, emptying every toy out of his toybox so he can sit in it, always having to carry around a plastic baby spoon and going through the silverware drawer one by one (on tiptoes) until he finds the spoon he wants, taking every diaper out of the basket and sitting with them in the floor and crying hysterically when I try to put them away. He's learned that if he drags his little chair over to the fridge, he can stand on it and pull down every single magnet and piece of paper. If I set up his Fisher Price barn and other various characters in the world, which we keep in the living room, and make it neat and not just a pile of cars, animals, and people, he promptly sits down in the middle of it and destorys it, then walks away. (He does, sometimes, happily sit for the longest time and play pretend with the barn, but never when it's beautifully set up. He doesn't like things to be neat and in order, and I really really want them to be!)

My choices for dealing with him in a given afternoon are (a) follow him around and tell him to stop doing things, clean up after his messes and make him help me clean, be completely stressed because the more I tell him to behave, the more he really wants to get into more stuff, or (b) sit on the couch and rest and catch up on things or sit at the dining room table and scrapbook and just let him play, knowing that the living room / kitchen will look like a tornado hit it by the time we go to bed. If he wants me to play with him or pay attention to him, he'll come to me or bring me a book or a puzzle, but on the whole he loves to play by himself. If I follow him around wanting to "engage" him in play, he goes off until I will leave him alone. He does spend a lot of the afternoons and evenings sitting on my lap, talking to me or reading with me, but when it comes to playtime, he wants to do it by himself.

I don't want to be a mother who just gives up and lets her child do whatever the hell he wants. And I SO don't believe in trusting children to make their own choices -- children don't have the reasoning skills required to make decisions. I let Jake have INPUT on what he eats, what he wears, what he wants to do, but ultimately I am in charge. That's why I'm the mom and he's the kid. But I also believe in picking my battles, and I don't think that afternoons of me yelling at him just for being a kid are in our best interest. But I also really don't like the living room looking like a disaster every night. And I really don't like the fact that Jake thinks he needs to operate any electronic item he comes into contact with -- but I can't get him to understand that he can't touch them! I guess I'm trying really hard to find the balance between giving him a little freedom to have fun and making him realize that he can't tear the house apart and do whatever he wants.

So I guess all this is to say I love my child more than anything in the world and I respect that fact that he is a little person with his own personality and opinions, but at this moment he's kind of driving me crazy.

Comments

[Shelly]

Happy Birthday!!! Hope you have a wonderful day!!!

Love
Shelly

[Jen_Jake'smom]

wait, no, it's not my birthday. I was unclear in my post -- I changed it. I meant I'm 25 right now, not just now today. heh. you are sweet, tho!!!

Jen

[Kelly]

((Jen)) Jake is sooooooooo damn cute, I hear ya on being crazy, there are many days that I think I cant do it anymore.... here for you girl!!! The pics of Jake are great!

[RockStar Mommy]

I'm 23, 24 in January (Yay Capricorns!) and you're totally right - the passage of time still baffles me when I sit down to think about it. And it goes just so damn fast. You sneeze and it's like they're grown up already. My daughter is 20 months old & I just don't know where the time has gone!!
But, your son is absolutely gorgeous! And I'm so glad to see that my kid isn't the only one that has a thing for ripping all her diapers out in the middle of the living room floor!!! :) And seriously, on your couch, is that a Care Bears pillow case? If so, we have the same exact one :)

[Jen_Jake'smom]

Kelly: I love you and I really needed to hear from someone today that it's normal to get frustrated with the kiddo's! Thank you, hon. I can always depend on you!!!

RockStar Mommy: thanks for coming by!!! That's a Winnie the Pooh pillow case, but I totally used to love the Care Bears. I wanted the Care Bear castle toy so bad when I was little and my mom would never buy it for me -- I'm still a little mad about it!!! Thank you for saying my son is gorgeous -- I think he's cute, but he also looks like me so really I'm just being narcissistic!

Talk to you both later!

Jen

[Nikki]

Hey Jen -

If I had a blog, this could be my entry exactly!!! Kyle sounds alot like Jake. Kyle will put up his stuff if we're going bye bye. I sense he has the same OCD issues I have LOL!!! I'm a total neat freak. My mom tells me just let him play (not be destructive of course) & clean it up before going to bed. I do try to do that, but how many toys can they play with at one time? You'd be surprised, no you wouldn't!! ha ha ha.

Enjoy your 'youngness'!! I'll be 32 in Jan. - talk about time going by fast!

Like I've been telling many people lately, this too shall pass (and too quickly - sad).

[Sue]

Hey girl, I so understand how you feel about these little 2 year old whirlwinds who turn our houses upside down in less than 10 minutes. I am always stepping over blocks, Little People, pieces of cardboard that intrigue Ryan more than a pricey toy, and various other crap all over the floor! It DOES stress me but I try to ignore as much as possible and do a big clean-up when he takes a nap and then the final one at night with Ryan helping me (if I'm lucky). I SO wish we had another 'family' room to keep all the toys and junk in! We even have a big ladybug tent in the living area, full of balls of various sizes....I can't wait to move that thing, preferably outside this summer.

I love all the stickers underneath Jake's highchair and the pic of Jake in the toy box - how cute is that??!! Ryan does exactly the same thing after up-ending all the toys...he calls his toy box his 'car'.

I'm with ya, girl :)

[Sandi P.]

Hi Jen,
These are some wonderful pics of Jake -- everyone is right -- he is a beautiful child! His big brown eyes remind me of Zack when he was little. I'll have to pull out some old pics, scan them and show my "beautiful boys" off when they were babies!

And btw...believe me, it doesn't get any easier, hon! ;-)

[Ninotchka]

My advice would be what you know already: choose your battles. An independent player sounds like a dream to some but I know what you mean about TOO much independence. It's a fine balance. Maybe resolve to check on him and clean up every 1/2 hour or so????