In Search of Myself

Just Be.

I took this picture earlier this summer, and these flowers are gone now, but it's a good picture for today's entry.

It's a beautiful spring day. I know it's the middle of the summer, but the weather is perfect, just like spring. I'm sitting at my desk at work, just 7 steps away from an open door, a beautiful breeze blowing in, a bit of sunshine almost making its way to me. Even the air smells wonderful. Sometimes I feel just silly for sitting here at work for 8 hours of my day, spending another 2 hours of my day in the car. And what do I do with the rest of my day? I'm certainly not outside, enjoying it like I should. I'm wasting time watching tv, sorting the mail, making sure our house is just clean enough to prevent insect infestations. I spend so much of my life just doing stuff to keep me going, keep food on the table, keep a place to live ok, that I never just sit and enjoy life and just be. I need to learn how to be.

You know there's a generation gap at work when . . .

you are feeling silly and start singing "By the light of the silvery moon . . ." and your co-worker walks by and says "You know, that's from an old Doris Day movie." Your reply? "Well it's also from Bear in the Big Blue House." ha ha ha ha ha ha

Not much to say . . .

I really don't have anything much to say today, or about this picture.

It's been a really busy day, and I think the Jake-man is pretty dang cute. What a sweet little Tigger. Oh, and I miss him and wish I were hanging out with him today instead of being at work up to my elbows in paper. (I am SO feelin' ya, Sue.)

Just had a capuccino and chocolate chip cookie to rev me up for shoe shopping for Jake with Lou's grandmother this afternoon. (stressful, but not having to buy shoes myself is nice.) That's about all.

More Prayers

This past Sunday at my church the theme for the worship service was The Lord's Prayer (the one that starts "Our Father, which art in Heaven . . .") Within the Lord's Prayer is the phrase "thy kingdom come, thy will be done." We read a very interesting Litany about this phrase that really struck me while we were reading it, and I wanted to share it with you (a litany is a congregational reading, in which the person leading reads the text, and then when the text is in bold, the entire congregation reads outloud, too.) I think it stood out to me so much because in America today there are so many people running around saying "GOD SAYS THIS" "God wants me to do this" "God wants YOU to do this" and rationalizing their actions and extreme judgements of others with select passages of the Bible and their interpretations of them (does this bother anyone else?) Anyway, here is the litany:

Let us pray for the breaking in of God's kingdom in our world today.
Creator God, Mother and Father of us all,
because Jesus has taught us to trust you in all things,
we hold to the Redeemer's word and this plea:
Your kingdom come, your will be done.
Where nations budget for war, while Christ says, "Put up your sword,"
Your kingdom come, your will be done.
Where powerful governments claim their policies are heaven blessed:
Your kingdom come, your will be done.
Where Christians seek the kingdom in the shape of their own church:
Your kingdom come, your will be done.
Where communities of faith make an idol of their uniqueness:
Your kingdom come, your will be done.
Where our prayers falter, our faith weakens, our light grows dim:
Your kingdom come, your will be done.

Jake's Winnie-the-Pooh room

(click on pictures for more detail)
This is the wall where Jake's crib used to be; we took down the crib last week so we would have more space in the room to play. We've had a twin bed in his room since last October, when my mom moved to Tennessee but didn't have a house yet. That's where she slept, and he got in the habit of sleeping in the bed with her a lot because he always wakes up and wants company. So he was so used to sleeping on the twin bed, against the wall, that when mom and dad got their house this past April, I started sleeping in the twin bed with him (because Lou works midnights and I actually feel safer being close to Jake so I know he's ok.) Oh! And notice on the closet door where I've hung a shoe holder for all his "beanie" characters and toys. That's like the best part of the room. :)

Anyway, we moved the Pooh tree, which is a growth chart (he's up to 36 inches! go Jake!) to the crib wall and re-arranged some of the sticker clings that were already above it. Jake is in LOVE with these stickers. He loved helping me arrange them so much, he kept asking for more. So I got out the extra alphabet set I'd had hidden in the closet and let them help me place them above the bed to fill in the empty space. Jake now has an extremely colorful room! He loves to point to the letters and pretend he's telling me what they are. He also points out and tells me (correctly) about "Pooh" "Tigger" (ok, it's Tih-guu . . "), "Eeyore" "Balloon" "Tree" and "Button" (some of the stickers are button shaped.) This is a lot of progress for him, because he doesn't talk very much or have as many words as a lot of kids his age (which I'm fine with, I'm just trying to make sure we keep moving forward.)

I have always loved Winnie the Pooh, and Jake is fully on board with this. Loves loves loves the Pooh stuff. He's also on board with loving all things Jim Henson, pictures, stickers, coloring, singing, piano, and Fisher Price. And I was afraid that a boy would be hard to relate to!

"Sweet" little guy: A quick story

Last weekend at Zoe's birthday party, Jake didn't play well with the other kids (unless your definition of playing well includes running away from them and screaming when they come near a toy you are playing with.) Jake has yet to decide that he likes birthday cake, but he LOVED the big chocolate-chip cookies Zoe's mom had provided. I was pretty busy during the party, chasing and helping with the other kids (I had mom and sister Kathy there and they helped with Jake), and I was taking pictures of all the kids, too. (Hey, it's what I do.) Every time Jake happened by me, he had a cookie in his hand, munching happily on it. I finally asked Kathy where he was getting all the cookies, and she told me "Oh, he's waiting until people aren't looking, then taking them off their plates. Everyone thinks it's funny." Charming, Jake. Just charming.

Zoe's party

Well, despite my better judgment, Zoe got her hand-made birthday card. Not because I was any less mad about having 48 hours to get a present and a card, but because I was feeling creative and well, I have a reputation to uphold. (The top half of the picture is the front, the bottom half is what the card opens up to say.) 

 

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My mom bettered me, though -- she worked for the last week to make Zoe a handmade quilt. I can't compete with that. (Click on pictures to see larger images.) We'll talk later about how anti-social my child acted, and the couple of screaming fits he had. Wow, birthday parties are fun.

One more month until TWO

It's August 12th. My little buddy will be two in exactly a month. How did that happen?

And is it me, or does Jake already look about 4?

I've been out of high school for over 7 years.
I've been out of college over 3 years.
Children I held as newborns are driving cars and going to college themselves.
My dad is in his 70's.
My life is weird.

Jen